Escape

Adam Lambert Rant Part 1

Sun, 06 Dec 2009 06:27:38 GMT

I guess I wanted to weigh in on the whole Adam Lambert vs ABC fiasco for posterity’s sake, especially since I don’t actually post on forums. Personally I didn’t really care for his AMA performance because I thought it was a little over the top and vocally a mess (although I do give him props for his Ninja Roll when he fell – there were tons of people who didn’t even notice although maybe they were too o.O about the rest of his performance). Regardless, I am a fan, and I have been one pretty much since I saw his audition singing Queen. What’s not to like? I enjoy rock, the pretty, and a great voice.

I will state for the record that I DO believe that there is a double standard and that the media IS censoring him. Here’s why:

ABC promoted him insanely during the entire show (I am allowed to talk as I watched the ENTIRE thing). They kept commenting about how his performance would be the talk of the town the next day and how it would be shocking. Although Adam did go overboard and off script, there were plenty of things that ABC knew were going to be there. For example, the men on leashes, Adam grabbing the strap at the female dancer’s crotch and even the simulated BJ move was in there (just not as close to his body). That was REHEARSED. There probably would have been yelling even if he hasn’t done what he did, but let’s not get started on that since it cannot be proven. I believe that ABC wanted ratings and basically had Adam deliver it.
They could have censored the simulated BJ very easily. Although not ABC, when Pink did the exact same move, they certainly did it fast enough. Hell, when Perez Hilton crotch-dived someone on MTV they censored it even though that one had to have been 100% unexpected. There was a 7 second delay on the feed. ABC COULD have censored it, but chose not to. They later did for the Western Feed which leads me to suspect that they realized uh oh, people are complaining, maybe we shouldn’t have done that. They basically let him take the fall for their decision to air it. Admittedly it is not just their fault since Adam DID perform the move, but Pink certainly was not BANNED off live performances after what she did.

Was it because Adam went off script? Maybe it was; it is certainly feasible, but other people have also gone off script in similar ways. For example, Adrien Brody totally kissed Halle Berry at the Oscars (also on ABC). That was NOT scripted and Halle did not know it was going to happen. Was there ANY problem? Nope. Was there mutterings about sexual harassment? I don’t believe so and that was an Oscars that I actually watched and followed. It’s still not good, however, that he did things that weren’t rehearsed and I understand that ABC would be pissed off. It was still not necessary to cancel all of his live performances.
So what happened? Were people freaking out about the oh so gayness of Adam’s performance? Was it people being horrified that he was being obscene? Was it the religious groups? Was it ABC getting revenge? I think it was a little bit of all of those, some more than others. I do believe that if a female had done all those acts there would have only been minimal outrage AND if Adam had done what he did to females (BJ/kiss) there would have been less outrage than there was.

There were people who were screaming about ‘the children’, like it is television responsibility to monitor your children. This argument has been done before and I don’t want to rehash the entire, ‘you should parent your children, not expect other people to do it’ theory, especially since it seems especially silly (at least for me at almost 11PM). I think it’s much more telling that people only screamed about Adam and not any of the other sexual acts, like Janet Jackson grabbing a male dancer’s crotch and turning him towards her with it, or the multitude of scantily clad dancers performing provocative moves such as in Shakira’s performance. Let’s not even start on America’s prudish ways, where it’s much more acceptable to have violence than sex so it’s okay that Eminem talks about rape like it’s A-OK and Rihanna’s dancers were waving rifles around. It’s a cultural thing and in other parts of the world (Germany for one), it’s pretty much the opposite. It doesn’t make one better than the other and it is a personal choice. Regardless almost all the performances at the AMAs were not made for children. So why the EXTRA complaining about Adam’s performance; was it THAT much more obscene? Maybe it was; I too think the BJ was a tad too far (even though I didn’t find it obscene, but I’m pretty hard to shock), however, as I mentioned above, ABC could have CENSORED him. They chose not to.

The concept of decency and obscenity is dependent on people, even if some people believe they should be able to decide what is decent for everyone. I’m not one of those people though and think that you are able to turn it off if you don’t want to see it, ESPECIALLY in the case of the AMAs where most of the acts were pretty adult. Those people should have been almost equally scandalized by all the other risqué performances but they weren’t, it was just Adam’s performance that had people up in arms. I tend to believe that it was because he showed his gayness on stage, I read a lot of comments about his performance and many of them mentioned how they did not want to see his homosexual tendancies (basically) on stage. So male + female kissing and groping=okay, female + female kissing/groping=okay, guy on guy is NOT okay for them. Yes it is a personal preference, but if it was all equal, even if you don’t like to see it, it should not be grounds to file a complaint if you did not do it for the others.

I will continue this tomorrow, it’s become too long and late….

Torchwood Recs

Sat, 13 Jun 2009 21:58:30 GMT

Since June is finally nearing the end of Torchwood I thought I'd find some of my favourites. It is a fairly well-written fandom with a few exceptions that I"m never going to understand, but as always popularity doesn't always mean that something is amazing.

There are several major themes in the ianto/jack fandom, the most popular being without a doubt the ones set after Jack abandons his team at the end of Season 1. Then there's the obligatory time-travel. And some lovely immortal Ianto stories.

Reclaiming Camelot - http://tanarian.livejournal.com/8839.html.
It's one of the first Torchwood fics I read and still one of my favourites. It's just written well and is at its heart a very romantic story. Premise: Jack comes back. Need I say more? Tanarian is a very profilic author and has some really beautiful short pieces as well. This one is my favourite though.

Sticks and Stones - http://misswinterhill.livejournal.com/tag/sticks+and+stones
This one's set after Season 2 I believe. Psychic link and romancy! Well written. A really good author, some really cute humorous pieces as well.

E-mail my Heart - http://cazmalfoy.livejournal.com/249536.html
Oh so cute and fluffy. Basically a story told through e-mails. Ianto gets sent to Torchwood 2 to fix their filing system.

Grand Café del Verta Nor - http://amethyst-lupin.livejournal.com/101358.html
It's basically the concept that Ianto getsstranded in the future and meets future-Jack. It's slightly bittersweet.

Homecoming - http://merucha.livejournal.com/tag/master+list
Ianto is a Tardis...sort of...it's hard to explain but suffice to say it's an immortal Ianto story.

Time Enough - http://fic.aithine.org/tw-time-enough.html
This is another one of my favourites, made me cryyyyyyyyy! It's basically retelling the Torchwood story but is really about Ianto. The author's summary is simply, 'This is Ianto's story.'

Get Loved, Make more, Try to Stay Alive - http://dsudis.livejournal.com/455498.html
This is a domestic fic, which I rarely like in Torchwood because usually people overcompensate and it becomes too sweet and unrealistic. But this is a really good take on it. It's even MPreg. Hehe.

Unfixed Wishes - http://christine-twfan.livejournal.com/tag/fic:+unfixed+wishes
Really bittersweet, but such a love story. I find Torchwood does bittersweet better than most fandoms just because of the way things have to be with Jack as an immortal. Some people get around it by making Ianto immortal or Jack mortal, but the stories I tend to like best are the ones where they both know their time is limited and to just enjoy the time they have.

I think that's all I"m going to write for now. I likely have more, but finding them is terrible. READ FICS JUNE!

Uhm...I guess I'm reccing writing...

Wed, 27 May 2009 22:33:50 GMT

You know, I've always loved reading and usually explain it by telling people I love the worlds that writers can transport me to. For me, television and movies have never been able to quite capture the my imagination. People don't usually understand my love of writing and how the written word can bring something to life for me that television never could.

It's not that the writing has to be overly descriptive or flowery, in fact I hate reading most fantasy books because things are so convoluted and I don't need to read 2 pages and realize all I've read is a description of a cloak flapping in a breeze. What I admire most is when with a few words, someone is able to capture an emotion perfectly, or a moment, or a world. I guess I do subscribe to the less is more school when it comes to writing, but I do believe that every word should count.

People often look at me funny when I say reading books/fics makes me cry or even if they catch me at it. I don't really see how that's really so weird. Isn't your imagination just as vivid if not more so than movies? If not, I quite pity you because you don't know what you're missing.

Also on another note, FFnet needs to die. I nearly cry every time I go on there it's so bad. At least on a brighter note, since they're able to post on that site, they aren't mucking about ruining other places with their Mary Sue drivel. Heh.

HP FIC REC: Sacrifices Arc by Lightning Wave

Tue, 19 May 2009 15:39:20 GMT

SACRIFICES ARC by LightningWave

Summary: Harry has a twin brother who’s considered the Boy Who Lived. A retelling of the 7 HP books.

The HP fandom is so huge that it’s a little difficult to say which really is my favourite HP fic, but this would definitely be one of the Top 5. I started reading it because well it’s Harry + Draco and it was long. I almost didn’t start though because well the same thing other people must have thought when reading a summary of the story – oh no! A twin brother whose the Boy Who Lived aka let’s write myself into the plot of the story hahahaha. But man…was I ever surprised. This story remains alone in all those I’ve read with such a believable and real original character of the sort.

I can’t even really describe the plot really because it is so complex. The best I can do really is to say this author rewrote the series and the best compliment I can think to give it is that for a little while during and after I had just finished the series, I really thought that this WAS the HP books. It was kinda a shock to remember this story wasn’t really canon because this story feels just that real. This author has taken the world that JKR created, a world that by itself is pretty damn good, and enhanced it into something so amazing in depth and scope. She gives the world life, creating rituals, explanations and history that makes the canon Wizarding World seem incomplete and shallow in comparison.

The characters have so much depth that it’s shocking. Because this was written before the last HP book came out, I believe that if I were to read it again the comparison would be even more unfavourable since I detested what JKR did to her characters and world. Not only are those characters increasingly fleshed out and real, her original characters are magnificent. Truly my favourite of any fanfic I’ve ever read. Normally I quite dislike original characters since I read fanfiction to read about my favourite characters, not strange new ones that I don’t know anything about, but I really ended up falling in love with her many original characters that completely fleshed out the plot and the world.

Part of what gives the world it’s depth is just that it’s such a realistic world. Voldemort might be unmistakably evil, but the rest of the characters are both good and evil. It makes for a much more interesting read, where there are convoluted moral dilemmas and the potential in everyone to be both. Harry too is VERY powerful, something I quite enjoyed compared to JKR’s heh…LUCK! HAHAHAHA bit about him. The struggle in him to find his own path is very compelling and the struggle of those circling him to both find themselves and understand Harry is incredibly diverse both in methods and conclusions. This author basically takes aspects of the JKR’s story such as the horocruxes and makes them so much better. Admittedly I’ve read several stories that tackle this issue better than JKR but this one is probably the most complete and interesting. It’s very interesting to see the parts of the plot she’s taken from the original books, which parts she’s omitted and which parts are changed beyond description. It feels familiar still, but oh so much better.

For me, the most important part of any story really is the emotional aspect of it. How well do you connect to these characters that an author has created? In these series, I totally bawled my eyes out with the characters as they lived life. I just read the ending again last night and got completely sucked in again instead of sleeping when I was suppose to, crying my way through several tissues. And the characters GREW! I loved seeing how they changed, all in believable ways too.

Another reason why this story was so good was because the entire thing was plotted out before the author began so there wasn’t any of that muddling around, extraneous junk that’s so common in long stories (or television shows LOST, BSG, etc!) And even though this story is Harry + Draco, they aren’t the focus of the story, not really. In fact there’s very minimal overt sexual relationship and you can almost ignore it. I would even recommend people who don’t like slashy slash to read it. But even so I really love the relationship the two of them have, it grows and grows into something that’s really amazing and I wish some authors would look at this writing to see how you can write a romance without having it be OMG ROMANCE! every line of every story.

The story admittedly does start off a bit slower, but once you hit like book 3 and 4 it takes off and never looks back, but then again the REAL HP books are like that too in regards to the overarching plot, except for the part I like the first books much better than the last ones. It’s also LONGGGGGGGGGGGG which I love, 3 MILLION words written in like a year and 4 months apparently. Really rather than read the HP books, you could read this series and come away better for it. *shakes fist at JKR and HP*

Well to summarize I recommend this fic because it is has everything I wanted from the HP books: deep plot, an amazing world, real characters, moral depth, emotion, and a realistic romance. You need to READ it! (YES THIS MEANS YOU JUNE)

The Beginning of Fic Recs!!!

Tue, 19 May 2009 13:41:53 GMT

Well I’m kinda at work and am superbored and sleepy like I always am so I thought I’d maybe start with fic recs. I dunno I’m in the mood?

I guess I should start at the beginning so I’m going to begin with the Ion series by Sunhawk. (Yes I forgot how to link stuff, will edit once I ask June or Chris.)

Summary: Duo gets trapped in an abandoned spaceship and is saved by Heero and Wufei, with the former professing eternal LUV! The rest of the series is basically about recovery and finding your own way.

I really love this fic for a variety of reasons, the first simply being that I feel that it’s written very well. It may not be technically beautiful (not that I can always tell with my poor grammar skills), but it resonates emotionally. When I first read this back in like grade 9 or 10, I remember staying up until 4am and crying through basically the entire thing. I’d stop and then something sad would happen and I would start up again. Even today, when I reread it, it still has the ability to make me teary eyed and sobby. Which brings me to my next point, it has really great re-read value; I think I’ve read this fic at least half a dozen times and each time I still feel like it’s really good. This means of course that it’s held up really well over time since fandoms change and evolve. Admittedly GW isn’t really one of those (the fandom that epitomizes this the best is HP), but I’ve found that very often fics that I read when I was younger are of lesser quality (in writing, plot, characterization, etc) – the ultimate example of this being Sailormoon fics which I can’t even go back to. The Ion Series doesn’t feel like that though, which makes me very happy because it IS and was my favourite GW fic.

The plot is interesting and here’s the best part about that – it really does feel like Duo is moving forward and healing unlike many superlong series that don’t go anywhere and can’t end. (I’m looking at you L.K. Hamilton.) It’s been god…almost a decade since I first read the story, but I feel like we’ve almost reached an ending. I also admit to <3ing Duo the best and this fic really is a very Duo-centric piece, but the relationship he has which each of the others is very evolved and in-depth. I adore the Heero and Duo romance and how Heero is oh so very in love with Duo and oh so very patient. It just really resonates. The Trowa and Duo brothership is also very lovely, the dynamic the two have is one of my favourite things about this series. I also really enjoy that Quatre and Duo aren’t BFFS! like in so many other fics out there and is done in a way that feels very believable.

This series isn’t done yet, but it’s made up many stories that are complete by themselves so you can read each individual fic as a story by itself. I still wait with baited breath for the next one, which is pretty amazing if you consider that I’ve followed this series for almost a decade.

Mon, 18 May 2009 03:17:04 GMT

Apparently I can survive 35 seconds! Yey!

35 seconds

Hehe...

Tired

Sat, 25 Apr 2009 03:03:33 GMT

I don't know what it is about life that disturbs me so much sometimes. What am I looking for really? That's a common question I suppose... Actually the funny thing is I know what I'm looking for, something I"m passionate about. I"m tired of talking about that though, I quite do know my own head when it comes to this issue so why keep blathering about it. So maybe it's choices today, or friends, or future, or even god forbid boys. But the thing is...I don't really want to talk about any of that either. I feel like all I do is think about these stupid issues, rolling them around my head over and over again. Not really going anywhere just sitting on the same conclusions.

Maybe I'll say something new today, you know what they say about putting something in writing: I'm seriously considering moving far away. Not that I"m attempting to be full of action like some people I know, but Toronto lulls me into stupidity. Maybe it's time.

Fic writing since who knows when

Sun, 08 Mar 2009 04:48:46 GMT

Well we decided to do 5 short pieces from the first 5 songs that came out of our music list. I think we each followed differentish rules, for example I'm okay with instrumental music if I know it well. So here it is. 5 short drabbles. The song is at the end.

1. Torchwood
Ianto paused outside Jack’s door, taking a quiet moment to observe how engrossed Jack really was with whatever it was on his computer screen. It was rare that such an opportunity arose in between defending the planet from alien invaders and Jack’s amorous advances. Sometimes Ianto could imagine that he could see all those countless years etched into Jack’s eternal face, but not today. Today all he could see was his lover, a man who had eventually stolen his reluctant heart and suddenly all Ianto wanted to do was to look at at him forever.

Of course that was the moment that Jack chose to look up, always contrary. He grinned at Ianto waggling his eyebrows, “Ianto, just the man I want to see. I was thinking about you, me and some afternoon delight.”

And just like that the moment was over. Ianto raised an eyebrow, “That could be arranged sir,” turning to flick the blinds closed.

2. Gundam Wing
“I quit.” My statement seems to render them all speechless, the arguing going on just seconds before completely silenced into incredulity. Before they get a chance to burst into questions and accusations that I know will come, I continue, “I’ve had enough of this, of the neverending battle against idiots, against the stupid, the zealots, the insane. It never changes. It never moves forward. Just the same problem with new faces that show up again and again. I’m tired of watching the world burn around me, while I try to douse the flames with a watergun. I’m sorry but I quit.” Then I get up and head out the door, not looking back.

3. Smallville
There are no lights to be seen from his bedroom window, so different from Metropolis where all you could see lights in every direction, spread out like an ocean of fireflies. Here a person could imagine that they were all alone, the only person in an empty castle with an empty heart. He had left today, left in an angry huff, unable to get what he wanted from Lex. Another repetition of the fight they always had. At the time Lex wanted to rail and shout about secrets and trust, but in the end settled for what had become the status quo, snide comments and nonchalance. But maybe this time was different, he had seen something in Clark’s eyes this time, the look of a man who has come to a decision. It was finally time, mused Lex; he had known that this day was coming for a long time. He and Clark were opposites, weren’t meant to be together; he had known for a long time, yet today standing in his study watching the back of Clark’s head, it still hurt. So here he was at 3am, drunk against bedroom window looking out toward where Kent farms would be, still wishing that that he could go home.

4. Juuni Kokki
Youko stood quietly on a balcony in the Kinpa palace staring down at the sea in the sky, amazing, even after all of these years. Tomorrow would mark the beginning of the twentieth year since her ascent onto the throne. She has lived longer in this world than the other, yet still she sometimes felt like that schoolgirl who never belonged. All these choices, the weight of an entire people, both were mantles that still seemed too big for her. A shadow fell beside her and without turning she knew who it was, Keiki, come to remind her of the necessity of her presence at the banquet, but a second passed, then a minute and no words were spoken. They stood together in silence watching the sun set over the sea.

5. Soukyuu no Fafner
It was the week after he had finally returned that he finally asked me to go on a picnic with him. It was going to be the first time we would be alone together and I had so many things to tell him, to ask him. But when he finally arrived holding a picnic basket and a blanket, it all just seemed so unimportant. All that really mattered was that he had come back to me.

So here we are, on the edge of cliff overlooking the waves, sitting on a checkered blanket that was so normal that for a moment I thought this was something that I had imagined out of a movie. Fluffy white clouds floating across clear blue sky, a slight breeze bringing the scent of the ocean and him. I close my eyes. Perfect.

SONGS
1. Afternoon Delight - Will Ferell & Company
2. Pardon Me - Incubus
3. Come Home - Placebo
4. Over My Head - Sum 41
5. Itsuwari no Rakuen from Soukyuu no Fafner (Instrumental) --> I know this one is in the same fandom, but I could just see it, the two of them by the ocean on that island they lived in.

Short I know, but I think I have to learn to work up to it. Ignore bad grammar and clicheness! Hehe. I"m looking forward to seeing the others works!

Hehe Quiz

Sat, 13 Dec 2008 15:47:39 GMT

Your Spiritual Number is Nine

You bring satisfaction and competence into people's lives.

You are very influential... sometimes more of an influence than you even realize.

Right now, your life is all about reflection and completion.

You have ended a long journey, and you are taking the time to figure out what it all meant.

You are an easy going, charming, and charismatic person.

Whether you want to or not, you have a lot of devoted followers.

What's Your Spiritual Number?

Puppeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Sat, 15 Nov 2008 02:22:34 GMT

Here's our new doggie, her name is Maddie.

Sat, 12 Jul 2008 03:03:10 GMT

HAHAH I'm Kosh?

Tue, 01 Jul 2008 00:28:14 GMT

the ubiquitous book meme

1) Look at the list and bold those you have read.
2) Italicize those you intend to read
3) Underline the books you LOVE. 3a) Strikethrough the books you HATE.
4) Reprint this list in your own LJ so we can try and track down these people who’ve read 6 and force books upon them.

1 Pride and Prejudice- Jane Austen
2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien (1.5 of the way through)
3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte
4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling
5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee
6 The Bible
7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte
8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell
9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman
10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens
11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott
12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy
13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller
14 Complete Works of Shakespeare
15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier
16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien
17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks
18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger
19 The Time Traveller’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger
20 Middlemarch - George Eliot
21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell (I liked the sequel better...Yes I know...)
22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald
23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens
24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy
25 The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams
26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh
27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky
28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck
29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll
30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame
31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy
32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens
33 Chronicles of Narnia - CS Lewis
34 Emma - Jane Austen
35 Persuasion - Jane Austen
36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - C.S. Lewis
37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini
38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres
39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden
40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne
41 Animal Farm - George Orwell
42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown
43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving
45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins
46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery
47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy
48 The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood
49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding
50 Atonement - Ian McEwan
51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel
52 Dune - Frank Herbert
53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons
54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen
55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth
56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon
57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens
58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley (I don't remember, maybe, I thought i had read all the classic scifi ones...)
59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon
60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez
61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck
62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov
63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt
64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sebold
65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas
66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac
67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy
68 Bridget Jones’ Diary - Helen Fielding
69 Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie
70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville
71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens
72 Dracula - Bram Stoker
73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett
74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson
75 Ulysses - James Joyce
76 The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath
77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome
78 Germinal - Emile Zola
79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray
80 Possession - AS Byatt
81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens
82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell
83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker
84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro
85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry
87 Charlotte’s Web - EB White
88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom
89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton
91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad
92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery
93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks
94 Watership Down - Richard Adams
95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole
96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute
97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas
98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare
99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl
100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo

Wow I read more than I thought. Hehe..

Haha Lookie!

Fri, 23 May 2008 17:25:47 GMT

The Dante's Inferno Test has banished you to the Sixth Level of Hell - The City of Dis!
Here is how you matched up against all the levels:

Level	Score
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)	Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)	Moderate
Level 2 (Lustful)	Low
Level 3 (Gluttonous)	Moderate
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)	Low
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)	High
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)	Very High
Level 7 (Violent)	Moderate
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)	High
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)	High

Take the Dante Inferno Hell Test

Thu, 20 Dec 2007 05:28:45 GMT

Maybe I should post to my journal more. It may make me feel somewhat better just to have it out to the world. Heh..

Today I've discovered that he still drives me up the wall. I don't understand why it's so difficult to get the hint. I'm tired of saving you face, I'm just out of understanding and sympathy in general. I'm not going to get used to it, you're not going to wear me down, I am NEVER going to accept it so just stop it. STOP IT. I'm trying to be accepting, to be kind, but I don't have to accept this anymore. I'm not going to accept it. Just keep telling myself that.

A Three-Way Madness Post

Sun, 16 Dec 2007 07:35:52 GMT

Well I agreed to do a 3-way rant with two other people who shall remain nameless and we shall see whether they keep up their end of the bargain. I'm pretty fustrated right now, with both myself and other people. I have to change, I need to change, yet I can't make myself do it. I am one messed up person.

Of course that's not to say that all of these people aren't also incredibly driving me insane. Whether it's impressions of hating just about everything, an inability to keep oneself healthy or just plain old hating me, sometimes I wonder about why I have such a host of such dysfunctionally weird friends. Oh and my brother's a jerk whose an inconsiderate selfish little boy who I honestly think probably won't ever deserve to be called a man.

I just don't feel like Christmas, am attempting to fake it and I think I"m doing okayish but I am pretty angry about some of the things that people do right now. If I'm this fustrated, I wonder if they're equally fustrated with me. But seriously how am I suppose to be all jolly and feel good will towards everyone when someone is being so egomaniacal? The world doesn't revolve around you and I'm pretty sure you think that I'm missing something by not being your friend, but I don't really think so.   I'm still annoyed, but that's cuz in a lot of ways I still have to deal with you and you're incredibly black and white morals that you yourself don't follow. I"m still angry at you because to me you don't know what being a real friend is about. And this new situation isn't making things any better. You're actions are so incredibly cruel and you think that makes you a great friend? I MUST let this go, you don't think of me, I don't need to think of you, but you're still impacting my life in other ways. I can't just ignore it like you do.

I wish you would lighten up and not be so serious. You're so focused and restrained, so cold to your family. I just don't know what you're going to do with all the money and the prestige. You seem to have so little joy. I wish you joy for Christmas.

For you, I wish you wouldn't have such strong ego in many ways. Not all of us can win all the times. Do you even realize you're such a sore loser? We do and it's a little sad and disturbing. Not every win is because of your skill and every loss doesn't need to be taken to heart. You dig so subtly a lot of people dont' realize. Your way isn't the only way.

I'm not sure what I wish for you. Maybe to finally move on and not see the world with such blinders when it comes to her.   You two just spiral endlessly. I wish love was enough.

I think for you I wish that you'd be less rigid. It's hard for me cuz we are different and like different people, different things. But you just dismiss all of it, dismiss me in many ways. I wish you didn't.

I really hope that you gain the closure you're looking for. And if not that then i wish you could move on. Perhaps even gain more understanding about the people around you. I dont' like being fustrated at you, I don't like wanting to ignore you. I do want to be your friend, but I'm not sure how other than being a gaming buddy and simply listening.

I wish you wouldn't do things to yourself and then make me feel like a beast for not feeling bad for you or giving sympathy. You do it to yourself. You know you do it to yourself. You don't need to not sleep, not eat, work 16 hours in one day. Why do you deserve to get sympathy from me. If I collapsed from consciously choosing to run myself into the ground needlessly even after warnings from all of my friends, I don't believe that I should be inundated with wellwishers who are like Wow Liz you work so hard. I love you, but you don't always deserve all the praise that you get. I wish you could make me feel in your art. It feels so odd that I'm not moved by your magnificent pieces of work. Maybe I've just had the experience of too many great artists, but yours just doesn't quite move me.

I wish for you my friend to learn all the intricacies of friendship, all the subtle messages that we all seem to expect us all to know.. You're making progress! You can do it!

To you, I wish I was a fairy, able to bestow with the wave a wand all the magic in the world to help and to entrance. I would wish for you more time. More time in the day to accomplish all the billions of things that you want to do. And maybe a little of the fixing of the people that doesn't require chamberpots over the head...or perhaps that ONLY requires that chamberpot.

I guess...

...this is my Grown-Up Christmas List.

Quizzy?

Fri, 22 Jun 2007 01:04:35 GMT

What color is your soul painted?

Yellow

Your soul is painted the color yellow, which embodies the characteristics of joy, happiness, optimism, idealism, gold, hope, liberalism, sociability, friendship, death, courage, intellect, confidence, communication, travel, movement, attraction, persuasion, and charm. Yellow is the color of the element Air, and symbolizes the sun, grain, and the power of thought.

Click Here to Take This Quiz

Quizzes and Personality Tests

Song lyrics

Fri, 25 May 2007 06:55:42 GMT

I was rereading the last part of Sunhawk's Ion Arc connections, which I absolutely adore by the way, it's amazing. The first time I read it, it was significantly shorter and I bawled through the entire thing. Over four hours. Each time I would some,what stop, something else would make me cry. Today when I read the last part for the upteenth time, I still cried.

Anyways song lyrics: Michael Longcor's 'In Another World'

So many worlds of might-have-been,
So many paths await;
So many maybe roads to walk,
So many tolls to pay.
But different drummers play the march
With different flags unfurled:
What am I doing in another world?

In another world, I'm a family man with seven kids or more.
In another world, I'm running guns in a dirty jungle war.
In another world, I'm alone and lost, A man without a clue.
But in another world, I would still love you.

Tiny things can change your life with every little choice:
The morning smell of breakfast, the sound of someone's voice.
Good or bad or in-between, it all gets mixed and swirled.
What am I doing in another world?

In another world, I'm an astronaut who's headed for the stars
In another world, I'm a lonely drunk who's crying at the bar
In another world, I'm a captain with a tall ship, and a crew
In another world, I would still love you.

Oh, life is comic, life is strange; life is often cruel
The master of my fate, but now the master is a fool
The many worlds of might-have been are ghosts that drift and call
I don't want what I have here, but I can't have what I want.

In another world, I'm a superstar with beauties on my arm
In another world, I'm a homeless man who's trying to keep warm
In another world, I'm a trumpet player blowing smoky blues
In another world, I would still love you

In another world, I'm a writer that the critics all adore
In another world, I'm another corpse in another jungle war
In another world, I'm alone and lost, a man without a clue....
But in another world, I would still love you.

In another world, I would be with you.

The lyrics to this song are beautiful and completely suit the part of the fic that was being written. I wish I could find the audio of it. I would even pay for it off something if I could only find it...

Thu, 03 May 2007 09:22:09 GMT

Sometimes I wonder why I bother. Sometimes I really wish that I was less stupid. I wish that people were less complex. I wish that I could stop feeling the way I do. I wish I was less hurt. I wish you cared more. I wish there was a middle. I wish you had less pride. I wish that I had less. I wish I could sleep. I wish I could live up to my own expectations. I wish I could stop wishing and start doing.

Unfortunately, I'm me and that just can't seem to change. Maybe that's it.

Sat, 31 Mar 2007 05:19:31 GMT

Sometimes I wonder about my choices in life. I'm just oddly stressed out right now. I just don't know what I should be doing. This compounded with all this stupid bickering and bullshit just seems like too much. I'm tired of the drama and tired of the inaneness of it all. I'm just sad today. Thanks a lot.

Short Entry

Sun, 11 Mar 2007 09:47:49 GMT

Well to make a long story short, it`s 2007 and here`s what I have to say about me.

1) Yes I feel the same as last year
2) My work ethic is still gone 2004 me, I`m still looking for it. Please return.
3) My fanfiction from like a decade ago till exists...and man is it terrible. I can`t believe it...what was I thinking...Also I`d like to take this instance to say that even the me at 13 did not write Mary Sues thank you very much.

So yeah, here`s my entry Henny.

Sat, 10 Jun 2006 21:02:21 GMT

Is it odd that I'm so unhappy at home? I hate it here so much. I never even get a chance to just relax and unwind. The one day I really have this week just gets me more depressed. I don't exercise, I don't play the piano, I don't help with the housework, I don't do homework (nevermind that I don't have any), I don't have a job. Somehow between last year to this year, my house has changed from my home to somewhere where I'm constantly under seige. I guess I just wish life hadn't sucked up all the enjoyment I have in it. Lately, I just detest almost all aspects of the way it's going. School is shit, UofT has sucked out all the joy I really have in school and in some ways learning. It's hard to be enthusiastic about something that you know you won't enjoy and is simply a means to an end. A way to get to the end of the road. It's really sad. I suppose all I can do is stick it through, life won't always be like this right?

Life

Wed, 17 May 2006 06:08:28 GMT

Life is a scary place. The closer I come to growing up, the more terrified I am. I don't want to grow up, in some way I really feel like Peter Pan. If only I could find my own Neverneverland. My greatest hope is that I will someday find a balance that I feel is suitable. Finding a job, deciding on my future, taking charge of my life are all things that I feel that I just can't do. Just because I'm capable of it doesn't mean that I am comfortable.

Life at home is always a challenge. Every year I forget how much that I hate my brother. Every year I forget how much of an ass he is. If he were my child, I would honestly disown him. He shows no compassion or kindness or even understanding towards his family. Everything has to be his way or he simply goes and does it. Because my mother, grandmother and to some extent I don't do anything about it, it's really sad the result. A spoiled little boy whose never learned that life doesnt' always turn out the way you want it to. Sometimes I wonder if I've learned that lesson either.

All my friends to some degree fustrate me. Sometimes I feel the closer I get, the further away I become. Realistically I suppose that everyone has this feeling once in a while. Maybe why I feel the reason that Di's my best friend is that I don't really get that from him. People fustrate me so much. Whether it's denial about how the world percieves you, or denial about yourself, I can't stand it. How am I suppose to be your friend if you'll never talk to me? I know the truth. You simply do not think of me as a close friend and you don't want to. I've always known in some ways. It doesn't matter I suppose, maybe I'm just too uncaring. I feel that sometimes. In the end, I wish I could do something about all the flaws I see, both in myself and in others, unlikely as that is. I wish I could tell you the truth about what I see in you, without having you fob me off. No matter what you say, that is what you do.

Maybe we live all our lives to feel that connection with someone else. Those shining moments where everything comes together and you simply FEEL that you know, that you understand that other person. To me we give a piece of our soul away, to that person, so what you feel may be a reflection of that piece of you that's now in your friend. You know that you can trust that piece of you to them, they won't break it.

Ah Livejournal, how I haven't missed thee

Tue, 18 Apr 2006 09:42:00 GMT

I'm beyond tired yet I can't really sleep. I'm sure that it's like Ji or June's fault. The later it gets, the more contemplative I get. I finished my round of resume's and stuff. Of course I'm terrified of getting a response back. The thought of getting a phone call or an e-mail just sends shivers down my spine. Heh I'm such a moose sometimes.

Life is so insane in so many ways. You can't stop the future from showing up sooner or later.

What am I going to see when I look back on this entry in a year? Am I goign to feel like I haven't changed? I always feel like that. I"m sure I have. Oddly enough I feel like all my experiences just serve to make me more impatient and bitter in a lot of ways. Less tolerance of stuff for me signals bad thinigs in the future. I'm going to end up like Di.

People are ridiculous. Why do I feel like I have so few issues versus other people? Half of my friends are maniacs and hte other half are depressive death. I just want people to stop being so stupid about relationships, I can't believe I"m not even talking about the more sexual, romance kind. I think in the end you can only accept what that other person wants and needs, there isn't anything else you can do.

You know, I've become a lot more jaded about hte concept of tears this year. They don't mean to me what they used to. Sure they signify emotion but to me they no longer mean pure emotion to me. Maybe it's because I've been around too many people who have issues surrounding tears, too many, too few. They just don't mean the same thing to me anymore and I honestly feelas if I cry much less now then I did before. That makes me sad.

Journalling/blogging/etc. is such a crazy fad, is it really easier for us to write down these things and put them up for the world to see? I know I guard my journal but anyone who really wanted to could find it. Are we telling our friends t he things that we can't tell them in person through spoken words? I think I don't agree. I want to have the courage to tell you myself, not have you discover it in my livejournal. Maybe that's why I don't usually give out this address, cuz really I'm just talking to myself.

Snapshot into my head is what I wanna come back and see when I read my entries again. May I have figured out some crap by then.

Happily Ever After

Thu, 17 Nov 2005 01:36:22 GMT

You know, as realistic as I say I am, I think I still believe in happily ever after. Some part of me really truely believes that every story will end in happily. It's like that quote about how if you're not happy, then it isn't the end. Regardless of all the stories about how not all stories end with everyone smiling, I want to believe that it's true. I think in some ways, that's how lots of people cope, you don't necessarily have to be happy right now, but you can still believe that everything will turn out alright. Heh...in stories we usually have a happily ever after. Sure there are sad ones, but the majority turn out with two people in love, riding off into the sunset. In Desperate Housewives, the doctor told Gabrielle that to want to be happy is selfish. Although I somewhat agree, I also disagree. I think you're a better person when you're happy. You're more giving, you can brighten someone's day, you can inspire someone that everything will be okay. Heh...maybe so I'm rationalizing, but I truely believe that happiness is what we all aspire to, or at least most people, I wouldn't put it past humanity to have a couple of crazy people who are truely altrusistic, not the fake altruism that I sometimes see. The ones who truely want to help, but because it reaffirms their own self image, because that's what they're meant to do. They'd be happier if they didn't put such restraints on themselves. It's not the end of hte world to be selfish sometimes.

Maybe that's why I enjoy reading fiction so much; I always get my happily ever after.

Liz is bored so is quiz taking

Sat, 08 Oct 2005 23:40:00 GMT

WHITE

??Which colour of Death is yours??
brought to you by Quizilla

Heh...I'm kinda like oooh death colours...yet of course i get white. So then I go look at my answers and determine yup these are hte ones i'd definetly pick. Soo i'm going to have to conclude the test is defective...yes...

You are the chinese element of Water. People who
are under the element of Water are creative,
independent and intelligent. Water you are a
dreamer, but are quite vulnerable, and have
hidden agendas. The color of water is black,
and your symbol is the tortoise. Winter is the
season in which Water shines and it's months
are October/November. Your weather condition
is cold. Water is the direction of north, and
your day is Wednesday, while your planet is
Mercury. Animals under your element are
usually shelled. People under you are Turks.
Your sense is hearing, your taste is salty,
your sound is moaning and your virtue is
knowledge. Your organs are the kidneys. You
were created by Metal and control Fire.

Which of the 5 Chinese Elements Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Heh water?

You were suspected of witch craft and burnt to
death. You have a hard time trusting people or
making friends with them because people have a
hard time accepting you. You would like to be
accepted and appreciated.

How did you die in your past life? (for everyone)
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WHOO! Witchness